Saturday, December 14, 2013

39 weeks!

This post probably won't be of much interest to most of you, but I'm trying to chronicle my own thoughts and feelings as I go so I can remember later.

I'm 39 weeks pregnant today!  That means only seven days to go until my due date!  I'm officially on maternity leave, so we're ready to go anytime now! C'mon baby!! We went to the midwife this week and she checked baby's heart rate and position, which were both great, and told us that "now we wait!" ...and so we're waiting!  There's such anticipation in the air, and I can't help but think of that first Christmas, and the anticipation Mary must have felt...  Isaac spoke more eloquently and beautifully on it than I could on his blog: http://godandthemodernmind.blogspot.com/2013/11/expectation-and-uncertainty.html

I'm going to miss these kicks and bumps she gives me, but I'm very ready to meet her!  This desire is only amplified by a late return of morning sickness.  I can't seem to keep up with this active girl's metabolism!  She's an eating machine!!

It's a weird feeling, this waiting for labor to begin.  I know in my head what will happen - my contractions will come closer together and increase in intensity... I know this, but what will it feel like?  I can't quite wrap my mind and emotions around it.  There's so much expectancy built into the start!  I'm not afraid of the discomfort because I'm so excited to know I get to meet her.  I know my body can and will do what it needs to do to bring her to me safely if I just relax and let it work...  But what will it be like?  How and when will it start?  I've had contractions...I've even had two in a row... But I somehow can't bring myself to understand it.  So we wait, and expect, and anticipate, and prepare.

One thing I do understand is nesting.  Not only is it a natural instinct to prepare for a new little life, it's a necessary release of anticipatory energy!  If I keep myself busy, particularly in preparing for this little girl, I feel like I'm doing something to ease the anticipation of her arrival.

Things I'll Miss:
- Feeling her kick, hiccup, punch, stretch, and turn.
- Having her with me all the time, just me and her
- The anticipation of meeting her -- She's my first, my baby, and while each subsequent pregnancy will be thrilling in its own right, she's the first to open my womb, to give me the joy of feeling life being created and knit together inside me!
- Knowing a bit of Isaac is always with me, inside me
- The smiles from strangers (and friends) when I walk by
- The fun stories of others' experiences 

Things I Won't Miss: 
- New stretchmarks each day
- Not sleeping
- Having to potty every 10 minutes
- The aches -- fingers (especially at night and in the morning -- I can't bend my fingers!), my hips, my pelvis, my feet...
- Morning sickness!
- The horror stories people think it's appropriate to share
- Not being able to run up steps, or a hill, or run period. 
- Waddling -- I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to relearn how to walk after she arrives!
- Ligament pain (it's like being stung by a bee!)

I've heard from so many friends and family that I'll miss pregnancy when it's over (at least some of the aspects), and so I'm working to savor each moment, and take this time to pray over my unborn daughter. 

And now, if you've made it this far, you're about to be rewarded with a few pictures! 






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